The Noise in My Head

Why am I constantly chasing the next thing?
Next phone, next post, next job, next friend, next school, next next next!!!

Can everyone just be QUIET?!

I need silence. I need stillness. I need presence. I do not want to keep chasing and fighting.

What’s the point?

The Question That Keeps Returning

I wrote those words above a few days ago, frustrated with the cycle.

Right now, I’m lying on my bed, watching a movie I found on YouTube (The Illusionist), and these thoughts creep back into my mind like unwanted guests at a dinner party. I find myself questioning my questions, challenging myself, answering them, sometimes even arguing back.

What’s the point?

Maybe there isn’t one.

Or maybe… it’s about the journey.

My Theory on the Journey

I know that sounds cliché and tired. However, if you think about it, the only truly original thing we own is our reaction to each experience.

In some ways, everyone’s destination is the same:

You get your dream partner, your ideal job, the house, the car, the perfect family, the travel, the peace.

But how did you get there?

That’s where the difference lives.

No one else has experienced what you have.

No one else carries your blend of joy, pain, laughter, and hope.

Life can get bleak sometimes, but maybe that’s what makes it so breathtakingly unique. Just think, only you can understand what your own path means.

The Space Between

There’s an infinite amount of reasons why things happen. Nothing is binary; it’s never just black and white.

I remember a quote from The Fault in Our Stars where the protagonist said,

“There’s an infinite amount of numbers between 0 and 1.”

We start at 0 and the possibilities between are infinite.

That’s where the beauty lives.

That’s where the life is.

The Promise I’m Making to Myself

Let’s enjoy the journey, Debs.

Let’s breathe through it, cry through it, laugh through it, play through it and love through it.
Because the space between 0 and 1? Those are the defining moments, that’s where the beauty hides.